We’re all guilty of putting ourselves down with a negative comment every once in a while, but these kinds of remarks can put your self-worth into a downward spiral if you start believing them. Some expressions that seem harmless can still undermine your confidence and affect the way you see the world. Cut these negative phrases out of your life for a happier, healthier mindset.
- Instead of “I’m an idiot!” try “I’m not understanding this right now.” - Saying “I am” followed by a description implies this is a permanent statement. And eventually, you may start believing this passing comment is true all the time. So soften it up by adding the words “right now” so there’s room for change.
- Instead of “I should be ____ right now” try “I could ____ right now, but I’m choosing to ____ instead. - Swapping “should” with “could” turns the focus from expectations to truth and changes the conversation from “I’m not good enough” to “I’m actively working toward my goals.”
- Instead of “It’s all my fault” try “I played a part in this situation and I’m only responsible for my own decisions and actions” - You can’t control the actions or reactions of others and by trying to take responsibility for their emotional state, you judge yourself negatively in the process. Let go of that responsibility and you’ll lighten your mental load.
- Instead of “I never should have …” try “If that hadn’t happened, I …” - Regret can fuel negative self-talk when we mistake hindsight for something we could have predicted. Beating yourself up for what you did in the past will only make you feel bad in the present, so try to learn the lesson and move forward with that knowledge.
- Instead of “They must think I’m …” try “Their actions are just their actions, nothing more or less.” - Assuming people think negatively of you results in you beating yourself up over a perceived idea. Remember they’re just thoughts, not facts, and over time, they can reshape how you think of yourself.
- Instead of “Why can’t I be like them?” try “They’re doing so well and there’s enough good to go around for all of us.” - When you compare yourself to others, you’re telling yourself that you’re not good enough in some way. Rather than try to measure yourself against them, try celebrating the things you love about them AND yourself.
Source: Self
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