Dating would be so much easier if we were all great at flirting and could do it in a calm, cool way. But flirting is a subtle art and we’re not all as good at it as we think. Part of the problem? We want to make a good impression and make someone interested, but just thinking about how the other person perceives us can shake our confidence.
Luckily, communications expert Leil Lowndes is here to help. These are her techniques and tricks to make someone feel connected to you the first time you meet them:
- Have great eye contact - Leil explains that eye contact conveys “honesty, respect, interest, intelligence, candor and confidence.” But what makes eye contact great? Length. You need to look at someone long enough to actually make a connection, but not so long it gets awkward. To help maintain eye contact, try thinking about the exact shade of their eyes, counting the number of times they blink and noting the shape and symmetry of their eyes.
- Use the “almost touch” - Touching the other person on their arm or shoulder is Flirting 101, but Leil suggests you put a twist on it. She recommends reaching out like you’re about to touch them, but stopping before you do. She says it works on men because “their fantasies go wild wondering what it means” and women because “she may appreciate your affection but can’t accuse you of being too forward.”
- Be eager and enthusiastic - There’s a fine line between showing that you’re interested and coming off TOO interested. Leil’s advice? Let the other person speak first, then match their level of enthusiasm.
- Make a good last impression - Research shows that when people think about a previous event, they’re more likely to remember the way they felt at the end, even if it’s significantly different than the way they felt during the event. So let that work for you by creating a great last impression. Instead of just saying goodbye, Leil recommends a full sentence that includes the person’s name. Try something like, “Tom, thanks, I had a really good time.” Or “It was really great to meet you, Jane.” And be sure to use as much energy as when you first said hello.
Source: Your Tango
Photo: Getty Images