It’s not uncommon for any woman to be on a date where something just seems off… it happens. Here’s some tips to help put your mind at ease when you want to go into a date without worry.
1. Pregame With A Call To The Bar Beforehand.
When you set up a date with a stranger, you definitely don’t want to let them surprise you with a meeting place. Make sure you know where you are going in advance. That way, you can let your friends know where you will be, but it also gives you a chance to do some pre-date investigating. What you want to do is call ahead and find out if they have a code or system of letting bartenders know you need help discreetly. If they don’t, encourage them to create one.
- Pick A Location Where You Already Know The Code.
If you’re dating pretty regularly, chances are you have your favorite hot spots. Pick one where you know the code just in case things go sideways on your date. And if they don’t have one, well, a regular like you has the clout to encourage them to start one, and to post it somewhere women will spot it, like the ladies restroom
- Check The Restroom For Instructions.
Speaking of the women’s restroom, as cautious and careful as we all are occasionally, you’re going to end up somewhere unfamiliar. If you’re starting to get worried and not sure what to do, excuse yourself to the ladies room and check to see if they already have a code policy in place and posted in the bathroom.
- Install Personal Safety Apps On Your Phone.
Every woman who is dating — or, you know, existing in the world as female — should consider putting a personal safety app on their phones. Watch Over Me and bSafe are two free options that help you coordinate with friends and family to know where you are and that you are safe, and can be used to discreetly signal for help.
- When In Doubt, Just Go Ahead And Ask The Bartender For Help.
I know you want to play it cool, especially when you feel unsafe, but the option to simply tell the bartender that you need assistance is available. Sometimes, we put our own safety second to “being polite” or “not being rude.” Well, those days are over. If you feel unsafe, you have every right to be rude. Your personal wellbeing is more important than your date’s sensitive feelings. So, speak up and tell the bartender you need them to call you a Lyft, or you need a bouncer to you walk you to your car.
Because at the end of the day, you don’t owe your date anything. Your safety comes first. While it’s better to be proactive and plan ahead, never feel like you can’t speak up to protect yourself. Period. Point blank.