What's the dumbest lie you've ever told?


Comedian Eliza Skinner recently posed an interesting question to her Twitter followers: "What's the dumbest lie you've ever told?" She continued, "I told a Lyft driver I was a writer and when he pressed further I said I wrote 'Sci-Fi short stories.' He said, 'Whoa, not much of a market for that. Where do you publish them?' 'Magazines, mostly.' I felt like I was on fire the whole time." Other users chimed in and began sharing their most insane fibs. Here are 10 highlights:

  1. In kindergarten, I told my mom I had been chosen as the new school mascot. She believed me and after a few days went to ask the teacher about the practice schedule and my teacher, rightfully, looked at her like she was insane. I still don’t know why I did this. 
  2. When I was in third grade, I thought having glasses was REALLY cool. I told my mom I was having trouble seeing. She set an appointment with the optometrist and I purposefully said all of the wrong letters during the test. 
  3. In second grade, I was so afraid I had a giant late fee for a library book that was months late that I said I had a twin named Claret Chantal who had taken it out. Needless to say, they did not believe me. 
  4. I used to tell people that I was the voice that whispered "zoom zoom" at the end of Mazda commercials. When she was little, we told our daughter that the ice cream truck only plays music to let you know they're out of ice cream. Worked for years until she was at Siobhan's house and they busted me. 
  5. I needed a break today so I told my son I needed to go and milk a cow for a few hours. He’s four.
  6. When I meet people for the first time and they ask what I do, I say I don’t have to work because I’m an heir to the Elmer’s Glue company. It’s so random they always believe me. 
  7. Is forging my mom's signature on a progress report in sixth grade using a colored Sharpie a lie? 
  8. For some reason, I was obsessed with being Australian as a kid and I told my whole kindergarten class that my dad was from there. When my teacher asked why he didn’t have an accent, I said he lost it on the trip over. 
  9. Told everyone in my kindergarten class my grandma died, she did not. People from the church and school came over bringing us food and to comfort, there is sitting my grandma! 
  10. In second grade, I LOVED fossils and a kid in my class had a real one and brought it to school. So I made a fake one out of grey clay and told my teacher I’d found it in my yard. 

People Are Sharing The Stupidest Lies They've Ever Told And It's Relatable AF

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