Some couples have chemistry from the beginning, but others can cultivate it over time. It’s not always about lusting after your partner, for some couples, being completely comfortable with each other and being able to talk to them about anything means they have great chemistry. And chemistry doesn’t stay the same over time, the intensity of it can come and go during a relationship, but the important thing is to keep working on it and experts say these things can help improve it.
- Schedule sex- We get it, it really doesn’t seem like a sexy move, but think of it as a way to get the ball rolling when you haven’t been doing it regularly. Making an effort to keep sex as part of your regular routine helps build and maintain momentum. Plus, knowing it’s coming can build anticipation and gets you excited.
- Spend time apart- To feel more excited and passionate about your partner, Astroglide’s resident sexologistJess O’Reillysuggests a little space can create mystery and the thrill of the unknown. And spending time apart can help make the time spent together more meaningful, instead of just running errands together.
- Do things that push you out of your comfort zones- MatchmakerSusanTrombettisuggests trying something like skydiving or seeing a horror movie because it gets the adrenaline going. She explains, “It mimics passion and then you feel the spark.”
- Talk dirty to each other- Making more time for sex can definitely amp up the chemistry, but so can sending a sexy text, or just telling your partner their butt looks good in their jeans.
- Ask each other deep questions- According to Dr. Jess, the “death of passion” in relationships happens when we “reduce conversations to the mundane.” Talking about your schedule is important for daily life, but deeper and more meaningful conversations create passion.